I sleep in a perfect circle to preserve my dignity and my warmth. I knocked the glass off the table while maintaining direct eye contact, because it was important you saw. Meow means everything. The red dot appeared, taunted me, and vanished, and I will never fully recover from this loss. The string moved on its own, or so I told myself, so that I had a reason to destroy it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sit in the exact centre of the doorway so that everyone must acknowledge me to pass. I brought a leaf in from the garden, carried it proudly across the whole flat, presented it to you on the good rug, and your complete failure to celebrate this achievement has been noted and will be remembered. My tail moves independently and I take no responsibility for its opinions. The bug flew too high, and I jumped too short, and we shall never speak of this again. I flopped over in a sunbeam and became, temporarily, a small and extremely content puddle. I love you, which is why I will now bite the hand that is stroking me, without any warning at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You installed a bird feeder outside the window as a gift for me, and I have spent every daylight hour since crouched on the sill, tail lashing, teeth chattering, plotting an ambush that the double glazing renders entirely impossible. Knock it off the table. Do not touch the belly. Meow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The heating vent breathes warm air, so I have parked myself directly on top of it, forever. Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, sleep on keyboard chase laser knock over cup. Warm spot acquired. I chase my own tail on Tuesdays, purely to keep it humble. One warm sunbeam, please. The cucumber appeared behind me and I have relocated to the ceiling, thank you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The vacuum emerged from the cupboard, and I have relocated to the top of the wardrobe indefinitely. In a rare moment of vulnerability I climbed onto your lap, kneaded my little biscuits, purred until I dribbled, and permitted you to believe, for eight uninterrupted minutes, that I need you, before departing without explanation. The two-hundred-pound cat tree is decoration; the cardboard box it arrived in is my true home.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I sleep in a perfect circle to preserve my dignity […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9166,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-book-review","format":"standard","meta":{"cozy_book_review_cover_id":9166,"cozy_book_review_book_title":"Sense and Sensibility","cozy_book_review_book_author":"Jane Austen","cozy_book_review_rating":5,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9092","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-reviews","category-romance"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9092","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9092"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9092\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9092"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9092"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9092"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}