Chatter at the birds. The laser dot returned tonight, darting across the wall and floor with malicious speed, and I pursued it with everything I had, over the sofa, under the table, up the curtains, and just as I cornered it, it simply ceased to exist. Knock pen off desk, knock keys off desk, knock entire glass off desk, leave. The bug flew too high, and I jumped too short, and we shall never speak of this again. Curtains are for climbing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The vet was a betrayal so profound that I have added the entire car to my list of enemies. I have arranged myself into a loaf on the windowsill, tucked every paw beneath me, closed my eyes to slits, and achieved a state of such perfect contentment that I have decided to remain here, motionless, until the sun physically leaves. I chase my own tail on Tuesdays, purely to keep it humble. In a rare moment of vulnerability I climbed onto your lap, kneaded my little biscuits, purred until I dribbled, and permitted you to believe, for eight uninterrupted minutes, that I need you, before departing without explanation. I stare at the wall because there is something there, and only I can see it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lick paw stare at wall for an hour, then panic, then nap. I sit just out of reach and blink slowly, which is the most affection you will get today. You called me and I looked at you, which is the most acknowledgement your kind can reasonably expect. Cat ipsum dolor sit amet, zoomies at 3am, chatter at the birds through the glass, groom aggressively for ten minutes, then fall asleep mid-groom in an undignified position. The vacuum emerged from the cupboard, and I have relocated to the top of the wardrobe indefinitely.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The radiator is warm, so the radiator is where I live now, goodbye. I knocked your phone into the plant pot, and I would like to make clear that gravity did most of it. I knocked the glass off the table while maintaining direct eye contact, because it was important you saw. I fell asleep watching the birds and dreamed, I assume, of catching absolutely none of them. Every surface is a bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The bowl is empty-ish. Every morning I stand on your chest at dawn, because your sleep is a resource I choose not to respect. The heating vent breathes warm air, so I have parked myself directly on top of it, forever. Scratch the sofa, ignore the scratching post, look you dead in the eye. I sat on your keyboard not to be difficult, but because it was warm and you were nearly finished.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Make biscuits on the blanket. You closed the door, so I must meow, and once you open it I will decide I never wanted to go in. Chatter at window bird plot revenge groom aggressively fall asleep mid-groom. Bring the dead thing inside, place it lovingly on the pillow, expect praise. I knocked a single pen off the edge of the desk, watched it fall, felt a deep and primal satisfaction, and then, meeting your eyes, calmly extended one paw and knocked off a second pen, because a point had to be made.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Chatter at the birds. The laser dot returned tonight, darting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9168,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-book-review","format":"standard","meta":{"cozy_book_review_cover_id":9168,"cozy_book_review_book_title":"Through the Looking Glass","cozy_book_review_book_author":"Lewis Caroll","cozy_book_review_rating":3,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,8],"tags":[55],"class_list":["post-51","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-book-reviews","category-fantasy","tag-discussion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=51"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9770,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51\/revisions\/9770"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9168"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=51"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=51"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/littlethemeshop.com\/storyclub\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=51"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}